Cancer Survivor Learns How To Say "No" And Regains Health and Sense of Self

Last week in one of my seminars, I met a woman who survived ovarian cancer. We’ll call her Mary. Mary is a mature woman with a family. She shared with our group that throughout her life she was taught to care for others, set aside her needs and make certain that everyone around her was happy. She admitted that deep down, in her heart, she considered her needs as less important than anyone else’s. This was the belief that she adopted ever since she was a child.

Mary went on to tell the group that her life became centered on what other people thought about her. She did her best to get people to like her so she always went out of her way to please everyone. Mary never felt comfortable saying, “No.” She reasoned that she didn't want to let anyone down or hurt their feelings.

Sadly she attracted people in her life who took advantage of her kindness and had little respect for her. Without realizing it, before long she realized that she had allowed herself to be treated like a doormat. 

One day she went to the doctor for a routine exam and she was told that she had Cancer. The doctor expained to her about the deleterious effects of stress on the body and told her that she had to make some choices. She had to change her lifestyle and make herself a priority.

That's when she realized that if she were to survive, she had to weed out the things in her life that were toxic. She started by saying, "No." Some people just disappeared from her life, some learned to respect her more. With that small word, came great power for Mary.

Today she is a Cancer survivor.

Although she says that along the road to remission, she lost a few “friends” and acquaintances, she regained her sense of self.

She told the group that it was a hard and painful lesson but today she now knows that she is worth caring for and loving. Now each week Mary sets aside time for herself to do things that make her feel good. She gets a massage each week, along with a pedicure and a manicure. She also takes classes and goes out to lunch with friends.

Have you ever felt that you’ve been giving your all and getting nothing in return? Has food taken the place of being able to say, “No” in your life? What do you think of Mary's story? Could it happen to you? Please click on comments and share your thoughts, feedback and stories with me.