Don't Take It Personally: You're Not Responsible For Other People's Bad Moods

Have you ever felt responsible for someone else’s moods? Last week my husband was in a bad mood. In the past, I would have allowed that to really bug me and it would have niggled at me until I felt convinced that I hadn’t done anything to cause his bad mood. Not only that, but I would have also used that as an excuse to give me permission to eat all the food in the house that wasn't nailed down just so that I could get a quick fix of comfort and feel that I wasn’t at fault.

Lately as I continue to study NLP and achieve mastery over language, I am realizing more each day that we choose our feelings based on what we accept as our thinking. That means that I don’t have to be responsible for anyone else’s feeling but my own. That’s become very liberating and it has enhanced my every relationship.

On the morning of noticing that Angel had been bitten by the grouchy bug, I decided to give him space to figure out whatever was on his mind. I had a hunch that I knew what it was and I realized that it had nothing to do with me. After attempting to see if I could help, I realized that he wasn’t feeling very talky, so I decided that it would be best for both of us for me to exit the house for the day rather than feel compelled to alter his mood.

I hopped in the car and did some shopping for myself. I enjoyed trying on lovely clothes and when I came home later that afternoon, he was much more relaxed, easy going and back to being himself.

That day was a huge Aha for me to realize that I don’t have to take it personally when someone else is feeling out of sorts.

Have you realized that yet? Is there someone who is a Gloomy Gus or Glum Gertie around you? Are you caught in a web of thinking that it’s your fault. Is that feeling of helplessness making you want to run and eat? Unless you know for certain that you can do something to right the situation on your part, then it probably has nothing to do with you.

Are you willing to let it go and toss back the ball of responsibility to the person in the bad mood so that they can figure out what they need to do to get unstuck and moving again? After all, it’s their issue, not yours. Do you really have such a light load that you can afford to carry around everyone else’s problems on your back?

I'm curious. What do you tend to do when a loved one is hit with a case of the grumps? I’d love to get your feedback and ask you to share your experiences?