Dear Eating Disorder, My Friend

I’m on several discussion boards for Intuitive Eaters and lately I’ve been seeing a great many posts discussing people’s feelings about what they get out of being overweight.

Back in August of last year, I had a discussion with a colleague of mine. His name is Doc Frost. Doc is a 25 year retired therapist who has successfully treated many women of eating disorders in a private clinic in Utah. I credit him with teaching me about Intuitive Eating and inspiring me to share this work with you.

Doc told me about an exercise that he used to assign his new clients. He suggested that they write a letter to their eating disorder and by doing so they would uncover the benefits of what they got out of being overweight. He called it Dear Eating Disorder, My Friend, When Doc suggested that I do the exercise, I thought he was kidding. I reasoned to myself that being overweight was the worst thing in the world and that it prevented me from feeling better, stronger and healthier, enjoying lovely clothes and a higher self esteem…

…and then as I began to tease apart the question and think about who my fat self is and what she really wanted, the answers that popped up were shocking. I realized there was a lot that lay beneath the surface for me that kept me heavier than I wanted to be.

How about you? If you think honestly and quietly about getting in touch with that part of you that may want to stay fat, and ask it what benefits it has been getting from you being overweight, you may also be surprised.

Many women use their weight to protect themselves from intimidating men and sexual advances, others use their weight to give themselves more substance, to feel stronger than they are, protected and safe, or to throw their weight around with others. As long as we’re being honest with one another, I’ll share that I can relate to both of those reasons.

Here’s the deal. That part of you that is holding on to the benefits of maintaining your eating disorder is most likely a younger part of you that hasn’t yet benefited entirely from all of your life experiences. Each of us has parts of ourselves that are less mature and capable than the others. There’s nothing wrong with them, they just are not getting the full picture and they’ve been around for years doing their best to protect you in the only way they knew how, to keep you as you are.

If you realize that you have these conflicting parts, you can still achieve your goals without being sabotaged by them. All you have to do is find other ways of taking care of yourself without resorting to overeating to the point of weight gain.

If that sounds like too much of a leap, and you have no idea how to love yourself besides eating, I’d like to help. I encourage you to join my next 6 Week Losing Weight without Dieting Program teleclass series. Read my client's testamonials and find out how you too can lose weight by eating the foods you love! Isn't that the coolest thing you've ever heard of?