The Juicy Woman

"No Matter What You Say or Do to Me, I'm Still A Worthwhile Person"

Self Esteem. Everyone benefits by increasing their confidence and developing a stronger self esteem. It's the core structure to anything that you attempt in life. It determines how willing you are to risk going for what you want. It's the difference between success and failure.

Last year I created a self esteem program for Elementary school aged kids called, "It's Great to Be Me," I developed it after years of working with various groups of parents, boys and girls and understanding the need to instill confidence in our children.

In the program, I included much of what I learned from studying with Jack Canfield, the leading expert in self esteem development programs.

One of my favorite things that I often discuss is the power of words. As a kid, you've probably heard, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never harm me."There's actually quite a lot of truth to that little rhyme.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, nobody can make you feel badly without your consent." The reason for that is because only you control your thoughts, feelings and the pictures in your head. Basically you run your own brain by having the ability to do those three things.

Although we tend to think that other people can hurt us with their words, the truth is, it's not what people say that hurts; It's what you tell yourself after they've stopped talking.

Here is a powerful statement that I learned from Jack that I share in my seminars:

The Power of Negative Anchors: Who's Pushing Your Panic Button?

Recently one of my Juicy Women emailed me and asked me why lately she automatically gets angry for no apparent reason when she sees her husband.

Here is what I told her.

"In a relationship where two people are living together, it is common to experience stress and tension. Sometimes the stress comes from within the marriage but sometimes it comes from other things, work, kids, financial strain, family pressures, etc. The stress chemicals that flood your body when it senses tension, create an association in the brain that will trigger bad feelings. These negative feelings remain in the body until they are dissociated and released.

Now that you know that stress affects you, here's the clincher. Your brain is always working to create new associations. Here's the rule of thumb... anytime you are in an intense emotional state, you are susceptible to creating anchors. Anything that happens around you can get connected in your mind with the way that you feel at that moment. It gets wired into your brain that way. Therefore each and every time that you repeat or trigger the anchor, you will get the same response.

For example, you might be able to think of a certain song that you love and instantly it will make you feel good. The song would be a trigger or considered a stimulus. It will affect your heart rate,
breathing, your pulse, maybe even send a message to the receptors in your skin to create goosebumps, etc. In essence, every part of you will be affected by those yummy feelings as they wash over you.

You could be feeling down and if that song would play on the radio, it would change your state of mind from gloomy to great. This is an example of a positive anchor. Now you don't necessarily have to rely on a song to create an anchor, as I mentioned, your brain does this automatically. Sometimes it works on your behalf and other times it doesn't.

Act to Attract: The Power of Combining Action with Visualization

One of the 7 steps of my RECLAIM method, is "Act to Attract." When you take action and put into motion your intentions, you powerboost your goals. It's simply not enough to sit and visualize or just tap on a problem hoping that things will change. You have to do something in order to get the outcome you want. You have to take a risk. As a coach, I've learned to embrace the power of taking action and making baby steps toward your goals. By taking those smaller steps, it builds confidence which enables you to then begin taking quantum leaps that require more courage.

In the movie, "The Secret, " author, speaker and self esteem expert, Jack Canfield, tells his story of how he manifested nearly $100,000 dollars early in his career. By taking consistent steps and holding an image of what type of lifestyle he would have within less than a year he made about $93,000.

There's so much buzz about the movie, "The Secret." Did you know that the movie is just a commercialized, upscaled presentation of the hermetic teachings that have been around for centuries? However the secret only discusses the Law of Attraction. There are several other universal laws that are not addressed in the movie.

Is clutter adding to the 'junk in your trunk?'

When I was a kid there was a lot of chaos in my home. Toys were everywhere. Furniture needed dusting. Clothes were piled up in the hamper, The kitchen counter was filled with clutter. Papers and books were everywhere. All things that are the enemy of neatness were all too familiar to me.

Sadly my mom, for whatever reason didn't carry the neatness gene and it didn't get passed on to me. Our house was often pretty disorganized. As I got older and spent more time with my Nana and step mother, I realized the value of a clean house. I also noticed that my tendency toward messiness really fed by desire to feed. Years later, as an act of self preservation and self respect, I now place a higher value on being neat and getting organized. For some people what they call 'ordered confusion' works for them, but when it inhibits you from feeling good about yourself and your space, that's when you're not showing yourself enough love.

Many of my clients have told me that in addition to struggling with excess weight, they also have years of clutter to sift through which makes them depressed. They start and job and before they know it, they're feeling frustrated, wanting to raid the fridge to 'take the edge off.' Getting overwhelmed is a big reason why we eat when we're not hungry.

I'd like to share an excerpt from my upcoming book, "Lovin' the Skin You're In: The Juicy Woman's Guide to Making Peace with Food and Friends with Your Body," which demonstrates a useful way that I've learned to deal with the sometimes daunting task of cleaning/decluttering your home.

Role Model Magic: Thank You, Jessica Weiner

Role models. Don't know where I'd be without them. Ever since I've been a child I've been influenced by the positive examples of other women. My grandmother, who I used to refer to as my Nana was my biggest role model and supporter. In so many ways, she showed me that a woman can do anything she sets her mind to.  Here's to my Nana. I dedicate all my work to women and children to the fire that she lit in me.

Several months ago I was interviewed by Dana Squilla, Assistant Editor of First for Women Magazine. Click on the the link below to read my story of how making peace with food has led to a more satisfying sex life with my husband:

Download first_juicy_woman.pdf

Before the interview, I wasn't quite as confident as I am now. For those of you who have worked with me, you know that I've been doing teleclasses and been present through a variety of forums, but I haven't done live seminars since last year.

I lost a lot of confidence and my self esteem got kicked in the gut when I sustained some personal losses last year. One relationship in particular, with my father caused me a great deal of pain and suffering. People change. That's just the way it is. It's taken me nearly a year to really get it, but I did.

The way that it affected my confidence was that it drove me to lose sight of what was important to me, helping people empower themselves. Other than the work that I was doing with the kids in Rockland County, I was just a voice over the phone.

I had taken media training, but was not ready to commit to stepping out in front of the camera. Why? Because I felt that I was too big! I felt that nobody would take me seriously and I'd be laughed right off the set. So I stayed hidden, wishing and hoping that I'd lose weight, but my body wouldn't budge. In fact as I focused more on wanting to lose weight, it seemed like I was getting fatter.

Then one day through a harmonic convergence of circumstances, I found my way to Jessica Weiner's site. In a matter of moments, everything changed. When I saw Jess' video of her appearance on The Tyra Banks' Show, I knew that there was a need for what I had to share.

The Power of Role Models, Introducing My Media Buddy, Sally Shields

As you may have heard, I’m taking steps to get covered in national media, TV, radio, print. My message of empowerment for women and kids is way too big to be kept small any longer. As a sexual abuse survivor, and body image/self esteem expert, I'm here to say that, "No woman or girl should ever be afraid of food or hate her body again!" And it's up to me a big, beautiful plus sized gal to convey that message with authenticity and power, because it just won't fly coming off the lips of a micro mini-stuck in the box, formally credentialed expert, so I’ve decided it’s time to come out of the closet, so to speak.

To do that, I’ve realized the need to find role models, people who have a passion for doing what they do, who can help me do the same.

Last year I took a media training course with Wayne Kelly, Media training coach, extraordinaire. In the process, I met a gal named Sally Shields, also known as the Mother-In-Law Manager, author of the book, "The Daughter In Law Rules" By some coincidence, Sally and I are actually neighbors, living a few minutes apart. After meeting one day for lunch, we decided that we are a great team and decided to be buddies. Our plan is to take the media by storm and promote our work to empower women.

Smile and Say, "Cheese"

Been awhile. Hasn't it? I've missed you. Well I haven't been sleeping on the job like my kitty, Owie (pronounced O we, short for Oreo) often does. Instead I've been busy cooking up a whole bunch of goodies just for you.

Sorry you'll have to wait until my next newsletter comes out in a few days for the full scoop.

(LOL) I won't let the cat out of the bag just yet, so instead I'll just a share fun thing that you may like to play with. It's a cover art tool that is offered by the publishers of Figure Magazine. That's the plus sized fashion magazine available through Lane Bryant shops.

To access the tool and create your own cover to save on your computer, click on this link:

Cover Girl

What? No time to play?

Let me tell you what this kind of play will do for you.

Since our brains can't tell the difference between an imagined thought and reality, when you look at a picture of yourself in a different way, you see yourself differently.
If you've been having one of those 'fat' days where you feel awful, bloated, ugly as heck and frustrated, the best antidote for it is to kickstart your confidence so that you can stop beating up on yourself.

And why would you want to be on the cover of a national magazine?

Because seeing yourself on the cover of a magazine will automatically boost your self confidence, making you feel better and when you feel more positive and inspired, you are more productive, happier, vibrant, healthier, sexier and so much more of a Juicy Woman.

So if you're looking for a boost, want a quick shot of inspiration, a way of feeling good without reaching for those twinkies or cupcakes, then browse your hard drive and find a great photo of yourself and be a model for a day!

Standing By Yourself and Handling Your 'Fat' Days

As I finish the last 5 chapters of my book, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In: The Juicy Woman’s Guide to Making Peace with Food and Friends with Your Body,” I notice that I go through cycles in my body that alternate between ‘fat’ days and ‘skinny’ days. In fact, oddly enough, they can actually fluctuate from hour to hour. Anyone who's ever had a weight issue, knows what a ‘Fat’ day is. It's when you think of yourself as fat and to you, you look fat.

I’ve learned now from experience not to pay any attention to the image that I see in the mirror on those days, because the excess weight on my body has nothing to do with why I am having a ‘fat’ day. It's all an affect of stress chemicals building up in the body and the trigger effect of acetylcholine activating and plumping up your fat cells due to your body's stress alarms going off.