The Juicy Woman

What Are the Roots of Your Food Obsessions?

Recently Dr. Phil was on Rachael Ray discussing the importance of not dieting in order to lose weight permanently. His words were, “One and done.” Let me ask you. Are you still dieting? If you are, do you find that you’re spending most of your day thinking about what you just ate or what you're going to eat next, Dr. Phil says that the possible roots of your obsession may surprise you. Before you take that next mouthful of food when you know that you aren’t hungry, see if any of these 7 statements ring true for you.

•    Most of the time, people make the mistake thinking that their obsessive behavior and compulsive thinking means that they have no control around food. Your relationship to food only reflects how you feel about yourself, your self image, the things you tell yourself every day about what kind of person you are, what you deserve, what you are capable of achieving.

•    If you’re spending much of your day obsessing about food, you may be using food as a way of avoiding some part of your life that needs attention. Food often becomes the battlefield substitute when we have trouble setting boundaries and/or asserting our needs.

•    Studies show that between 92-98% of all people on diets will regain their weight within 5 years. Diets are not the answer. Self management of your stress is. You must be able to deal with the root of the problem. Food is not your problem. You have to relearn new ways of speaking to yourself.

•    Consider that in order to truly get control of your eating, you have to give up the control. By taking the focus off of food and putting it onto caring for yourself and expressing your feelings, your food issues will melt away along with the excess pounds and inches you carry.

•    Do you sometimes think that you’re a total screw up, a worthless human being simply by virtue of your pants size? What if you said, "My body image is independent of my self-image. If I am a good, caring and loving parent/spouse/child and an honest, responsible citizen, it doesn't matter how much I weigh"? You may want to weigh less and that's OK. Remember weight and self-image are not the same thing.

•  Realize that you can unlearn this compulsive eating behavior and lose weight without dieting. If your definition of weight control is to avoid foods you love, your cravings will get you every time. You need to make peace with food and friends with your body.

•  When discussing food obsession, Dr. Phil believes it's important to note that one of the biggest problems with weight loss programs today is that they are highly focused on food. Many popular programs incorporate a regimented diet in which people have to weigh food and count calories, etc. People go on diets because they don't want to eat less food but the structure of the diet requires them to spend their entire day focused on food, which only makes them want to eat all the time.

Take it from me. I’ve learned that if you want to make peace with food and friends with your body, it’s a process. Here's a quote from one of my mentors, Dr. Nancy Bonus, the creator of The Beyond Dieting Bonus Plan.

"Permanent change requires a climate of love and nurturing, not self hatred and resentment."

What no kick butt, bootcamp drill sargeant approach! No. It doesn't work and you already know that. Don't you? Join me on October 9 for my next teleclass, Tap Into Self Acceptance and Love the Skin You're In. Let me teach you what I know about making peace with food and friends with your body. Hurry and be one of the 20 eligible women to save $20 on the cost of the class by leaving a comment on this blog.

How to Love Your Body When You Just Can't Stand It...

Did you know that according to research, nearly 4 out of 5 women hate their bodies, picking at flaws and focusing endlessly on imperfections. Diet organizations feed on that kind of insecurity and fear, happily encouraging that trend of thinking that deludes you into believing that something is wrong with you, especially if you’re overweight.

The thing that nobody has ever told you is that your stinking thinking has actually been making you fatter. Your body recognizes how you feel about it. When you think loving thoughts, you feel lovable. When you think hateful thoughts, you feel hateful. As long as you think harmful thoughts about yourself, your weight, your body, your relationship to food, you and your body will always be in a stand off. Self acceptance is the key to unlock your personal transformation.

As long as you hate your body it will stubbornly hate you back by refusing to budge, keeping you stuck, feeling as though you are insatiable, hungry all the time, which prevents you from feeling safe and comfortable enough to stop eating on your own, which inhibits your ability to lose weight naturally and get thinner. If you can’t love your body now, despite how it looks, love it for its function.

Realize that  your stomach may be flabby but without it you wouldn’t be able to enjoy eating wonderful food. You wouldn’t be able to digest that food and feel nourished. That’s your stomach.

Remember that those legs that you profess to hate, carry you around all day, every day, maybe you use them to run, or walk or stand and water your plants. No matter how difficult it may be to like what you see, remember that they keep you solidly grounded and moving through life. Those are your legs.

Keep in mind that those arms that you may call, “batwings” are the same ones that may have held your first child, embraced your lover, given and received many wonderful bear hugs. Those are your arms.

Today begin to appreciate and thank each and every one of your body parts for its resiliency, function and loyalty. It’s always been there for you, and never abandoned you. Isn’t it time that you showed it a little love in return?

Looking for Wrinkles and Little White Bumps or How Many Ways Can I Play the I’m Not Perfect Game…

Several months ago I looked in the mirror and noticed that on my forehead I had a little white bump. At first I thought nothing of it. After all it might have always been there. I'm not a very visually observant person. My special talent is in my ability to listen. Anyway, I found myself each morning, checking the mirror to see what was happening with it.

After several weeks of this silly behavior, it should be no surprise to discover that the one little white bump had a friend tagging along. Now I had two little white bumps on my forehead.

Never before concerned with getting older, I wondered if maybe these white bumps were signs of early aging. I started looking for white bumps everywhere. Whenever I saw women of my age, 45 on the screen or face to face, I checked their foreheads looking for white bumps on them. One day, consumed with this new upset, I decided to do an internet search and found out what these bumps were. Milia. Now they had a name. More energy invested in them. Bumps, bumps, bumps. It was all I could think about. Then one day I shared this new obsession of getting older with my EFT tapping buddy. I told her about my concerns about aging and my fear that those little white bumps were my passport to an early grave.

After a few rounds of tapping, I felt completely differently about those little white bumps. My freak out melt down had faded completely. Life went on with a new realization that it was time to redefine “beauty” for myself. Above the sofa in my office, I have a wall filled with old sepia framed photos of my grandmother. As I scrutinized the photos of my Nana, throughout many different stages in her life, I remembered that I always considered my Nana beautiful, no matter what age or weight she was. Maybe I wasn't obsessing about my thighs, but I had cleverly found another distraction that kept me from loving and accepting myself. I saw the silly game that I was playing and realized it was hurting me.

How about you? What’s got your attention lately? What games are you playing with yourself? Are you obsessed about the size or shape of your thighs or are you pinned to the mirror bent on finding your flaws? None of us are perfect and we’re all getting older. Yet that doesn’t mean that we can’t retain our youthful essence and beauty. I’ve learned that the more that you focus on things you don’t want, you get more of them. So what are you willing to focus on today? Share a comment and let us know your new definition of beauty. Mine's gotten a real makeover. It now includes little white bumps, lumps, bulges and all.

Making Friends with Your Wobbly Bits

In a poignantly funny scene from one of my favorite movies, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, Renee Zelwegger, who plays Bridget struggles with negative feelings about her body and tries to cover herself up after making love with her boyfriend, Mark Darcy.

Mark Darcy: What on Earth are you doing?
Bridget Jones: Getting dressed.
Mark Darcy: Why're you dancing around in that tent business?
Bridget Jones: Because I don't want you to see any of my wobbly bits.

In the movie, Bridget gets into and out of relationships and struggles with each of them because she doesn’t have a sense of her own self worth. The reason for her struggles is not her wobbly bits, as she thinks, but her sagging self esteem.

Have you made peace with your wobbly bits?
When you pass a mirror naked do you want to run and hide?
Are you busy playing the game of I’ll never be perfect?

Are you, like Bridget, rushing to cover your wobbly bits? It doesn’t matter how much or how little you weigh, if you don’t learn to accept your body now, you never will. Need some help lovin' the skin you're in? Pick up a copy of my free sampler and find out how to make peace with food and love your body.
 

Sex and The Juicy Woman

Sex. What kinds of images does the word conjure up for you? Is it something that you like to think about? Does it make you feel ashamed or dirty? What images or memories come up for you when you think about sex? Do you feel sexy? Do you think about feeling good all over and reveling in your juiciness or does it make you want to run screaming to the refrigerator to grab a pint of ice cream and hide for a week? That used to be my response.

As The Juicy Woman, I'll share with you honestly and tell you that for a long time throughout my 18 year marriage, I wasn't so buzzed about sex, especially when my weight was top of mind. As long as I was obsessing about my weight, I was always worried about what my husband must be thinking about my body, how I looked, and all the negative soul destroying things that any woman can think of to make herself absolutely miserable.

As a result, it was no surprise that I was always tired or too busy, had a headache, stressed or just plain 'not in the mood.' I kind of thought of sex as a chore and myself as a cold fish, maybe even a frigid woman. I lived in so much fear constantly that I'd kill the love that I had with my husband because I couldn't stop obsessing about how inadequate and unattractive I felt.

I put so many labels on myself it wasn't funny. All because I hated my body. As a result of being constantly bombarded by my own inner critic, comparing myself to other women, and obsessing on my fat, my anger slithered out and threatened to destroy my happy marriage. In August of 2006 I made a decision that changed everything and I'd like to share my discoveries with you.

Recently I was interviewed in the August 11, First for Women Magazine on page 44 and I shared how I transformed my sex life with a change of thinking and a decision to say goodbye to dieting. If you'd like to read the article, you can pick it up at your local grocery check out counter throughout the US.

To get the real skinny, which is the article behind the article that wasn't printed, you can become a member of my Juicy Woman Forum. It's the best place to be on the internet to learn how to make peace with food and love the skin you're in. Hope to touch base with you soon. Come visit my website. I've got lots of goodies in store for you. Stay tuned.

Weight Watchers Makes False Advertising Claims Suggesting Their Program Embraces A Non Diet Approach to Lure New Clients

Weight Watchers is playing games with people’s heads. You’ve probably seen their new slogans, “Stop Dieting, Start Living.” If you’re a woman, like me who’s spent (wasted) years of your life on Weight Watchers in an attempt to lose weight using their programs, only to be disappointed in the end and to regain back the weight you lost following their system, then you will be shocked and appalled to hear that they have reached a new low in their marketing. They are claiming that their program is not a diet, because diets don’t work.

Evidently the breaking news that came out in April of 2007 with the UCLA long term composite study claiming diets don’t work has already spread like wildfire. Now it is commonly accepted by most people that diets really and truly don’t work. I guess even Weight Watchers has to agree that it’s a fact. After all, now it’s backed up by solid research.

The truth of the matter is that Weight Watchers is still a diet no matter what they claim to the contrary.

Buddywork: The Best Way To Uplevel Your Success

Buddy work and accountability is an invaluable asset to any personal growth program.

Welcome to The Juicy Woman Blog. This blog for non-dieting women is a companion to the free Yahoo! Juicy Woman message board and the free weekly Juicy Woman Fabulous, Fit and Free Call)

In all of my programs, I encourage women to get a buddy from within the group and work with that support partner often. In my own experience, I’ve found that this is absolutely invaluable to the success of any personal development program.

The reason for this is because it enables the two people to practice new techniques and to handle overwhelming emotions and fears consistently in a safe and non judgmental space of mutual support. In this way, your issues don't get a chance to 'boil over' and overinflate since you are both working on them consistently.

Carol Look, EFT Master Uses Tapping To Bust Down Resistance to Losing Weight

Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed a trend. Many of my clients in my Losing Weight without Dieting Program have been experiencing resistance. After several weeks of great success, changed habits, more mindful eating, and paying attention to their hunger, several of them found that it had become very difficult to get motivated, feel excited about losing weight and truly relax into the process, consequently they fell back into patterns of overeating.

I recognized that I was having the same struggles myself. When I decided to follow my own program privately alongside them, I noticed that I, too was slowly losing weight, food was losing its allure more than ever, I was craving salads like mad and overall I was becoming much more confident and self accepting of my own body. I was enjoying the skin that I was in! That's when I created the video that you'll see here on this site. I began the process of Losing Weight Without Dieting with my group at 199 pounds and over a short couple of weeks, I had lost 3 pounds.

Right after doing the video in mid May, I noticed that I was getting really cranky with my husband, Angel, working in my home office around the clock, losing sleep, craving junk food again and eating way beyond the point of feeling satisfied. Feeling sexy was out of the question. After weighing myself  recently, feeling fat I discovered that I had regained those 3 pounds back again and was at 199 once more. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was struggling with some internal resistance but needed to explore it further. I decided that it would be great to address the groups' resistance as well as mine by making that the focus of one of my
Free Weekly Juicy Woman Fabulous, Fit and Free calls. I was determined to hit this moving target!

Embrace Your Right To Bare Arms: Love the Skin You're In!

Hey girl! Be a Juicy Woman. Love the skin you're in! Celebrate your juicy self by embracing your right to bear your bare arms with confidence.

Be bold and enjoy your shapely curves. It is only by learning to love and accept yourself now that you can move forward. Wouldn't you like to get off the diet roller coaster, eat the foods you love and lose weight naturally? Sign up for my free article and learn how to lose weight naturally without pills, powders, gadgets or gizmos and best of all without ever, ever, ever, ever having to go on another diet again!

Zap Your Negative Self Talk, Powerboost Confidence and Begin To Enjoy Your Right To Bear Arms

Yesterday I was shopping at Lane Bryant’s at the Palisades Mall in West Nyack, New York. As I was about to go into the fitting room with an armload of clothes, a lovely woman stopped to compliment me on the blouse that I was wearing. It was a blue and green mosaic design short sleeved peasant blouse that I wear off the shoulder.

I noticed as I looked at her eyes, there was a mournful expression in them. I wondered why. Then I smiled at her and said, you know this same blouse would look incredible on you. I pointed to the rack and told her, It’s still available. What do you think of getting it?  I watched her as her the once lovely smile that she had faded and the corners of her mouth turned downward into a sullen frown. Then she said, “Oh no, my arms are too fat. That type of blouse is not for me.” I told her that belief was probably coming from the little screaming meanies critics that have been perched on her shoulder, perhaps for years holding her back from wearing those types of blouses or doing other things that she wanted to do in life.